I learned about beauty from my mother.
Every morning, Mom would brush my hair. It was always a to do because my brother and I were not ‘wake up early’ people then. I’m still not. I used to think that when she touched me, even my hair, she could hear my thoughts like I was speaking them out loud. There were a few mornings I found myself forcing positive thoughts about her in my head so she wouldn’t know I was still mad about having to clean my room the day before. The rule was that no matter what, hair had to look good for school.
I was 12 or 13 the first time I ‘got ready’ for a real party, with boys and hormones, and I remember she helped me put on some makeup and perfume. I had gotten my period recently and I think she had decided it was time to see what I thought about the next level of womanhood. It was the first time I saw myself as pretty. I wore a red pencil skirt and an oversized white button down shirt. It was the 80’s. There were a few more parties she helped me ‘get ready’ for and it was fun traversing this part of life with her. Going out became a time to become the ‘WOW’ version of myself.
But these weren’t the moments that taught me beauty. That moment came one Sunday afternoon, sitting outside on the terrace by the gardenia tree while she and my Tia talked. Mom’s 35th birthday was coming up and Tia was talking about getting older. Mom agreed that she was not looking forward to the passing of time on her skin. I stared at her the whole time they talked and I could feel her diminishing her beauty. It wasn’t a conscious thought. I felt her losing her shine. In that moment, I said “ I think you’re beautiful. I think you are more beautiful today that you have ever been.” I was nervous when I said the words but they needed to be said and I meant them.
The look in her eyes as she gazed at me right then taught me everything I needed to know about beauty. Beauty that is only skin deep is indeed fleeting , but not when the beauty shining from within is strong and full of love. That day I also learned that I have the power to fill others with love. We all do.
