Djo

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A Year Ago: 'I was not aware until recently.  I did not know this music existed and I am sad for the time I missed and simultaneously glad for being here now. I'm not going to provide details of this band.  If you are interested please go ahead and search for that information yourself.  If you care, it may bring a smile.   I love the music I have heard from this band so far. Literally, everything makes me smile and feel an uplifted kind f joy that I do not feel often with just music.  Normally there has to be some sort of memory already attached to a song but this album I've been listening to today is phenomenal.  'right out tha gate.' DECIDE. Such a great word.  Yes, there are innumerable possibilities in this world.  Possibilities of the life you could live, the path you could take to lead you, hopefully, to heights of success and happiness you can't even imagine.  But, the thing is, you have to decide.  You can't let yourself sit there and think so much. 
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They say...

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They say 'write the thing that scares you'.  What happens when so many things scare you that you can't choose?  Oh, there it is.  The thing that scares me the most is admitting I'm afraid.
I'm afraid of all the things.  I am enough, I'm not enough, I'm going to be successful, I'm not...I will find my love, I won't...I can make and live the life I want, I can't...What the hell am I supposed to do with that? My higher brain knows all the right bits.  It knows I will succeed, it knows I am enough and it knows this is all I need to know to create my life.  But my core is tight.  Not from sit-ups or toes to bar but because that is the place where I keep my fear.  It's constantly reminding myself that I have to look outside sometimes.  I have to go for a hike or a beach day and let myself realize my strength.  I have to remember that I am but a speck in this infinite universe, on this spinning ball, hurtling through space in close proximity, at all times, to other balls and pieces of balls that could end it all.

What would that be like?  If we got hit by a large enough chunk would the world just stop? Would it feel like when the driver slams on the brakes and you weren't expecting it and the seat belt just locks as the rest of you tries to go forward? maybe, unless you're in the impact zone.  Impact zone is probably all "fiery-item-from-space-getting-closer-what-are-we-going _________________"
🔥💀💥👻

My core is tight because I have a tendency to let my head spin.  I know that...It's that head spinning that helps me create.  This other stuff just feels like the algal bloom sea foam left after the wave has retreated.

What is the price of greatness? turns out, it's the same price for mediocrity...my life.
I can only pay that once...in this life...I've got to make sure and get my life's worth.











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