Djo

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A Year Ago: 'I was not aware until recently.  I did not know this music existed and I am sad for the time I missed and simultaneously glad for being here now. I'm not going to provide details of this band.  If you are interested please go ahead and search for that information yourself.  If you care, it may bring a smile.   I love the music I have heard from this band so far. Literally, everything makes me smile and feel an uplifted kind f joy that I do not feel often with just music.  Normally there has to be some sort of memory already attached to a song but this album I've been listening to today is phenomenal.  'right out tha gate.' DECIDE. Such a great word.  Yes, there are innumerable possibilities in this world.  Possibilities of the life you could live, the path you could take to lead you, hopefully, to heights of success and happiness you can't even imagine.  But, the thing is, you have to decide.  You can't let yourself sit there and think so much. 
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Who am I?

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The squirrels in the trees in my backyard like to drop down to different branches.  I thought about this for a while today while I watched them and I realized they drop, not because it is easy, but because they will go any direction to get onto the better branch.  The stronger branch. The branch with more food on it.
I've been thinking that I failed.  I moved up the ladder and failed.  Then I fell off of the ladder.
Turns out, I just needed to get onto a better branch.  I needed to get onto MY ladder because there are so many ladders it looks like that scene in The Imaginarium of Dr Parnassus.  There's an open field and there's a slew of ladders standing up all over the field.  We all get to choose which one we're going to climb.  What no one tells you is you can climb one, change your mind or fall off, and choose another one.  Any ladder that exists is yours for the climbing.  I'll tell you something else, though its a theory as of this moment, you can make your own ladder.
I've never been known to take the easy way.  I don't feel the need to change now.
I'm the one screwing up.  At least, that's what I'm trying not to feel.  I know I'm supposed to be strong and let those feelings through and allow them to leave me of their own accord.  I know I'm supposed to remember that failure is a stepping stone to the next level.  I only feel lost and weak and afraid...and hopeful.  ☆☂☀☄

"you never know what's just around the corner and you never know where the corner is until you're there"

Mom's voice echoes through time and space to remind me I am going to make it.

drawn on a napkin during sushi long ago





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