Confrontation

 I hate confrontation.  

Hate is a strong word and gives the 'thing' too much power.  Instead I'll say confrontation is one of the challenges in life that I am working through.  Don't get me wrong, I am no shrinking violet, but when I must confront a situation or person I do it with the grace of a slow ripping, super sticky band aid...on an arm...a very hairy arm.

springing through - Rebecca Scott

I know you've felt it,ugh...it is a sharp pain and you watch the hairs pull and pull and you have to stop, concentrate, maybe even close your eyes and just rrrrRRRRRIP that sucker off as fast as you can.

That's what it feels like to me when I confront you.  It won't feel nice and it's almost like if I have to do it then you will also suffer how bad I am at it.  It'll happen fast and feel detached no matter how long we've known and loved each other.  My only hope is that the rest of our relationship exemplifies my love and respect for you enough to cover any icky confrontation we may have.

backyard winter Decatur GA - Rebecca Scott

As cozy as it looks - Rebecca Scott

I've been told, however, that the receiving end is not nearly as life-altering as I assumed.  It apparently feels more like an adult confronting truths with another adult and working through possible solutions.

Who knew?!!

Apparently death and pain inside of me feels like growth on the receiving end.  I am pleasantly surprised to find that the seed being planted analogy really does work.

purple glare - Rebecca Scott

What feels like chaos and a painful splitting open of the world inside of myself is just my seed self taking in emotional water and nutrients and growing into the full grown adult I came to this world to be.

So, perhaps I'll stop telling myself that story. Confrontation is a necessary part of life when you are dealing with other humans.  Maybe instead I can just accept that it can even be an enjoyable aspect of adulthood when one considers the outcome will inevitably be growth and change.

OOf, thank goodness I already worked through the 'I hate change' part of my life.

And you?? Do you hate confrontation or are you a grown up and totally good at doing grown up stuff?

Hope you enjoy the photos of my first winter in my first house.  I lived in Decatur, GA for ten years and it was lovely except for some stuff I'm sure I'll go into on another post.  These photos will have to do considering I have no photos of confrontation...I don't think...