ok
so this is the thing
do I really love to write? or do I just know that it would be a great way to make money?
The fact that I ask that question might mean I'm in it for the money.
The fact that I've been writing since I was 10 years old is more telling, I think.
I remember buying a new notebook entirely with the plan that I would begin to write the story of my life. At 10, I already knew I was living an extraordinary life full of extraordinary people and the experience was and would continue to be worthy of sharing.
I also know, right around the same time, that pressing that button on a camera felt just as good as that first breath after a deep dive in the pool. Every time.
I found the first two photos I took entirely with the mindset that I would become a photographer.
My aunt and uncle, Eileen and Don, were photographers who also happened to be a music teacher and lawyer. The story goes they met in the elevator while my aunt was meeting her divorce lawyer. They have traveled and photographed the world for as long as I can remember. Christmas moments included watching slide shows of close ups of lions and zebras, Masai warriors and elephant seals. Their home is a resume of all the people they have met and the cultures they have experienced across a lifetime.
The stories told in their images proving that to learn your place in this world and in your heart you must do your best to experience as much of it as is possible.
I am on a similar journey. Mine has been wrought with stress and small thinking. Always, when I've thought how wonderful it could be to visit a particular part of the world, I've moved straight into thinking "I don't have the money to do that right now" and " I know I wouldn't get enough time off of work to go there anytime soon"
How sad to find I've been my own chain all this time.
SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Changes in my mindset and understanding of how I create my own reality have led me to push positive thoughts and to let pass any useless negativity.
I'm here now to show you that changing your mindset WILL change your actual life.
You've heard or read these words before. You feel the broken record spinning the same story over and over.
I heard that record too and I kept asking myself what these people meant. Why couldn't they simplify the statement and actually help me to be? It took some time...who am I kidding, I work on this every day. The best part is I've come to the point that, because of the constant repetition and practice, I can mostly let my mindset work on auto-pilot. Not all the time, but every day more and more.
When I push myself to focus on the positive in any situation I find, over time, that my mood is lifted. When my mood is lifted, the things that need to get accomplished each moment or each day feel like simpler tasks and, when they feel simpler, BOOM they ARE simpler. They no longer have the dark cloud of doubt and negativity over them that makes thinking of accomplishment and success stressful. They no longer make relaxation, mental strength and a great mood feel so far from attainable.
Another focus of mine is to take the thoughts that will not be pushed away and let them float on by. I literally picture them as little beings on a tiny boat, could be kittens or gnomes or little grass shaped people with little arms waving in the air, and I watch them float by and away from me on a calm river, on a beautiful early evening, sitting in tall grass at dusk in a field on a cool night.
I don't think about what they represent because I know these are just ego. Just acknowledge and let go.
Trust that you know within yourself who you are, what you want and need in this life and that all you need to do to accomplish the life you want is to live. Take each step as only you can take it. There is literally no need to think too much. You only need to decide and know who you are. Allow the knowledge to fill you. Breathe deeply.
Practice release and breathing and your life will unfold as it should, as it only ever could.
All I need to do to live my life is live it. Every step I take can only be taken by me. I decide which direction to go and I can change that direction whenever and how often I want. I trust myself to make the choices that I need to make and I trust that I am capable of handling everything in my life. Even the moments that hurt. I love who I am and who I am becoming and the heart within me is safe. Even when I feel weak, when I feel like I am full of shit, I still trust myself.
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