Djo

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A Year Ago: 'I was not aware until recently.  I did not know this music existed and I am sad for the time I missed and simultaneously glad for being here now. I'm not going to provide details of this band.  If you are interested please go ahead and search for that information yourself.  If you care, it may bring a smile.   I love the music I have heard from this band so far. Literally, everything makes me smile and feel an uplifted kind f joy that I do not feel often with just music.  Normally there has to be some sort of memory already attached to a song but this album I've been listening to today is phenomenal.  'right out tha gate.' DECIDE. Such a great word.  Yes, there are innumerable possibilities in this world.  Possibilities of the life you could live, the path you could take to lead you, hopefully, to heights of success and happiness you can't even imagine.  But, the thing is, you have to decide.  You can't let yourself sit there and think so much. 
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2021

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 It just hit me

I just read about something new coming in 2021 and at first, I felt like I always do when I read that phrase

'coming in 2021'.  That's SO far away.  

But, today it hit me, 


2021 starts in less than 50 days.


All this time, this whole year, I think I've been waiting for 2020 to start.  The pandemic, the stress of lockdown, losing family to Covid, dealing with job loss and being unable to live the way I am used to makes me feel like I've been put on hold.  The year never really got started for me and, I fear, you either.


So, what to do about it?


well, all there is to do is keep moving forward.  I wake each day thankful for the sun or the rain or the wind as it expresses itself outside my window.  I am thankful for my Lola and my family and everyone I love and those they love and on and on.  I start my days with a long list of items I must accomplish as I create the life I've always dreamed of and rest my head on my pillow at night ready to get at that list again on another day, luck willing.



I keep reminding myself, every day, I chose this life.  I chose the start, the happinesses, the pain, the stress, twists and turns.  Before I landed here on Earth, I knew everything I would need to learn and what I would use that knowledge for.  I learned whom I would love and how much that love would mean, how much pain it would cause.  All of the difficulties, beautiful moments and sparkling eyes spread before my eyes like a movie and I chose it knowing I would remember none of what I just watched.  


What a joy it is to live and to know, when it is over and I am dead and it is time for me to meet 'who I could have been' I will meet myself.



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