Grow (W)here You Are Planted

Yep I'm all over this YouTube thing like white on rice. Just wish my laptop would work faster on getting these videos downloaded and uploaded. Anyway, I hope they are enjoyed by all as much as I enjoy playing them myself. There's a calm and relaxed vibe to all the best places.  The beach, late-night rain, a walk through quiet woods.  Remember to subscribe to the channel https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCVMT2BUP_C0fUdBxckvXvbg So you know when the latest video is up. Enjoy!

 Has this always been a cafe? I can see the memory of robes strolling past, people in deep conversations enjoying the sunshine and preparing for their day. Image by  David Mark  from  Pixabay The giant columns somehow make me feel at home.  I watch some teenagers laughing near the doorway to the shop across the street. Moments where I am seen and unseen help me relax into my first solo trip to Rome. I sit here and the warm breeze clashes with my tea and I wish I had ordered something cool to drink. No matter, I'm in the shade and will be for a while.  I'll just lean back and people-watch.  God, this language is beautiful!! How have I not started lessons yet! I am here and can totally see myself not going home.  This is home now. Image by  Manuel Reina  from  Pixabay   I have to force myself not to get lost in imagining my life in some fabulous little villa in the rolling hills nearby.  From one of the bedroom windows, I can see this cafe in the distance.  I could plan my visits

  I'm going to guess there's a way to make this work. This life of mine can't just be 'work all day, eat, sleep a bit, and do it all again the next day'. I did that for 16 years and have literally nothing to show for it.  Well, that's not true.  I have friendships and I have knowledge.  I learned how to think during that time.  Some of it not so useful and really quite depressing and in need of therapy.  Most of it though...It has allowed me to be present in these clouds of uncertainty in a way I never would have been able to be before. What do I do with this presence? I work on various projects every day.  None of them are paying me at all though.  Here's the stuff, maybe you'll check it out? make a purchase? 1.  My YouTube channel, where I have started posting relaxation/meditation videos which I personally use for sleep: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCVMT2BUP_C0fUdBxckvXvbg 2.  I have two Etsy stores but only one is open right now for lack of fundi

 There's something that happens late in the day. Around 4 or 5 o'clock, I become very relaxed and life seems full of promise.  Not to say that life is any less in the mornings, I'm just not aware of much in the mornings.  If I got out of bed, late sleeper, then I'm groggy or just 'in the soup' until the sun starts to consider going to bed. Anyway, 4 or 5 o'clock is when I start getting purposeful.  I look for work and apply and write and fill out all the things to be considered so that I can make money/create my freedom.  I start thinking about dinner and when I will begin to cook.  I smile at the thought of my evening walk with Lola who has, by now, had her meal of the day and has napped sufficiently at my feet and will soon stand up, sniff around the room and then softly place her head next to my leg as it dangles from the side of the bed.  I'd say she's my slice but she's the whole pie.      Dinner tonite is Manwich.  I'm also making banan

 That was intense.  The thing is, this is my life.  My mind runs miles over all of the things I need to do, all of the things I want to do and how to find myself in the middle of accomplishing all of it.  The I realize I can't do all of it alone and I start to hyperventilate and my heart speeds up and I feel pressure build up in my entire body.   Then I take a deep breath...and another...and one more... Then I blink and look at something I enjoy or at someone I love and I count my blessings...literally. BLESSINGS: 1. Health - my own and that of those I love and those they love and even the folks I encounter in my daily travels especially the ones who look like they could use a little support 2. Love - I have so much love in my life from family, friends, the ground beneath my feet and the water lapping there as well.   And my Lola.  She is the best girl and knows just when I need a little extra support.

 I'm watching a video. In the video, a very white man just told me that the brain is "an electronic switching station that alters the vibration you're in". I smiled and this is what my brain did: This very white man just brought up vibration as a state of being.  He also implied, correctly, that vibration changes.  I now truly believe that everything in this life is vibration.  We are vibrating, all of us at different levels.  Inanimate objects are vibrating at lower levels.  In fact, the lower the level, the more solid it appears. Immediately after, I thought to myself: Why do I NOW believe this all to be so very true? Is it because a very white man has uttered the same information I have known almost my entire life? Do I not believe myself? Do I not believe every other non-white person who has uttered these same words? Has it been so ingrained in my DNA that the white man is the one who is right? ugh The beauty of this moment is that I know the questioning is the be