WTF...Oh Right
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It gets harder to stay focused every day. I create and create. I photograph, edit and post. I research SEO and trends then remember 'my people will find me' is the motto I'm working with. My fear tries really hard to take over and make me focus on how much money I'm NOT making because NO ONE is buying what I'm selling. I even think this post is too close to giving up.
One thing I know for sure is I have been successful at finding who TF I am. I came to Florida to be with family... my brother has known me his entire life. He knew me before life changed me and so it is easy to just 'be' here. There are a couple other places/people I can do this in/with but this was the cheapest to move to.
No make-up, a basic uniform of clothing to wear each day, no decisions to make, clean hair and skin. Sleep and eat as well as I can, sweat often, stretch and exercise, and feel all of it. Affirmations in the morning and at night, face yoga, I'm still a woman. Bring everything down to base level.
Now, here, breathe and get to know me. Who am I? What do I believe? Must I believe something? Why? No? Ok. How honest can I be with myself? Do I like myself? Who am I?
I ask that last question a few times a day. Someone wrote that beliefs come from who you've been. WHo I've been is in the past. She does not exist here. In the present. So again I ask, Who am I?
Another big one for me is 'If it's not a FUK YES it's a NO'. Resounding YES is the only way to go. Everything else is bodily functions and needs or it's my only other focus - creation.
HA! it just hit me, I'm making jewelry and messing around with some 2D art but I'm also creating myself, every day. My Life is AMAZING!
Enjoy my mind. This post is me all day, every day. I flow and flow and then an intrusive thought finds its way and I get stressed, or confused or wonder if I've chosen the right path or if I'm crazy, out of my mind to do what I'm doing... and then I think through the truth until I find myself again.
ya'll...EGO is somethin else.
Check out my work at www.lolaandspike.com
Photography by Rebecca Scott |
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