Grow (W)here You Are Planted

It gets harder to stay focused every day.  I create and create.  I photograph, edit and post.  I research SEO and trends then remember 'my people will find me' is the motto I'm working with.  My fear tries really hard to take over and make me focus on how much money I'm NOT making because NO ONE is buying what I'm selling.  I even think this post is too close to giving up. One thing I know for sure is I have been successful at finding who TF I am.  I came to Florida to be with family... my brother has known me his entire life.  He knew me before life changed me and so it is easy to just 'be' here.  There are a couple other places/people I can do this in/with but this was the cheapest to move to. No make-up, a basic uniform of clothing to wear each day, no decisions to make, clean hair and skin.  Sleep and eat as well as I can, sweat often, stretch and exercise, and feel all of it.  Affirmations in the morning and at night, face yoga, I'm still a woman. 

 There's something that happens late in the day. Around 4 or 5 o'clock, I become very relaxed and life seems full of promise.  Not to say that life is any less in the mornings, I'm just not aware of much in the mornings.  If I got out of bed, late sleeper, then I'm groggy or just 'in the soup' until the sun starts to consider going to bed. Anyway, 4 or 5 o'clock is when I start getting purposeful.  I look for work and apply and write and fill out all the things to be considered so that I can make money/create my freedom.  I start thinking about dinner and when I will begin to cook.  I smile at the thought of my evening walk with Lola who has, by now, had her meal of the day and has napped sufficiently at my feet and will soon stand up, sniff around the room and then softly place her head next to my leg as it dangles from the side of the bed.  I'd say she's my slice but she's the whole pie.      Dinner tonite is Manwich.  I'm also making banan

purchased from  https://weposters.com/ When I find something that speaks to me, the feeling is overwhelming.  There is no question that THIS is good, meaningful and on my path. It's like I'm walking on a beautiful, green path on a bright, colorful day and suddenly, when I look down to my feet, I stop.  I pick up the most beautiful, shining orb and it is shooting warm light out of itself and right at me. And it feels good. It'll look good on the wall too... The work I've been doing on the inside is showing as a particular style and color scheme that is reminiscent of my childhood home and life but also with a twist.  Browns, blues and all the bohemian combos thereof as well as the occasional gold and hot-ass pink with lots and lots of plants... from Architectural Digest hmmm...Look at this room!!! I"m in love and in understanding...soon, when I've finally finished unpacking the last couple of boxes, I'll post some photos of my apartment...I love it. Things a

Photo Credit Rebecca Scott There's something to be said for allowing the words to just happen. It may just be my luck, or maybe I've found the space where I can allow myself to just be in such a way that ideas and feelings just find their way onto a page, through me. Whatever it is, it is. Mornings are the best right now.  Slow mornings give way to a relaxed job.  I work for a few hours and then take my scheduled break and have lunch, love on my dog and think about all the things I want to do, to make and all the places I'll go when it is feasible to do so. Health concerns being what they are and finding myself in a serious desire to NOT get sick with this virus, travel is limited, duh, to 3 or 4 spots depending on the day and the need.  Home, Brother's house, grocery store, and sometimes one other house for dinner with the fam.  Just the other day, I felt it...the thing so many are feeling and started feeling much earlier in this semi-quarantine time...I NEEDED to be s

photo credit : Rebecca Scott John and Linda were kind and strong, full of love and easy to laughter, powerful beyond universe, unflinching and to the point. They moved forward with an ease that I am still learning to settle into it started early my worry about money the 4 of us, mom dad bro and me would do everything together it rocked when we’d drive home from school or to the store or to/from anywhere my parents would talk about money how to make what we had work what needs took precedence being the oldest and a Capricorn I would make sure to be quiet so they could have the space to figure things out and in that quiet, I’d listen I have never developed a positive process with money I often buy more than I need just in case i run out of money  I’ve aways been a spender as soon as I have some extra I proceed to shop for all the things I couldn’t buy before the influx This is, insanely, the first time I’ve had this realization...I’

Rebecca Scott it’s  been years... years of figuring out who to be, where to be, why to be. fluttering moments of bookended with such trying. I can only hope it was for a reason. it was. I had to get here somehow and  I could only walk this path. Here. Am I here? do I exist or am I just dreaming so? what happens to me when the dreamer awakes? is she already and just a little sleepy still? —sometimes when I wake in the morning when I just gaze at the back-lit curtain, letting thoughts become what they wish, I smile. This one is really interesting and wild.    I must remember what I felt during this other bit and grow it patiently in the real.    It’s like finding puzzle pieces in the dark and then finding where they fit.

HOLYYYY SHIT! I've got a lot of irons in the fire. I'm setting up a photography website that promises to be a work in progress.  First, I will showcase my photo re-touching capabilities so I can sell them and, over time and Universe willing, it will grow to a photography website that will have photo shoots, re-touching and prints for sale.  No big deal.  I'm just over here completely re-vamping my life and all aspects of it.  Not people though...well, not letting go of people.  I am open, as always, to new people entering my life and making it even more beautiful. FLORIDA PERK!!!:Afternoons in downtown St. Pete

I went home for a few days nothing clears the mind like laughter and the beach My brother often repeats words I've just said or phrases I've just uttered somehow hearing them outside of myself clarifies how funny I am The beach was windy to the point that it was almost too cold to sit in the sun and oh that sun...it was bright and lovely but the cold made it so I did not notice my skin burning now my shoulders and arms are itchy and red still red, 3 days later. It was worth it. Salt water and sand children running around free and shrieking with joy is always worth it. the renewal I feel after one visit after the walk from the car through white sands to that perfect spot the sitting, glancing around maybe reading something not expected to be inspiring but always is a visit to the water maybe a float through the sparkles then the walk back to the car hell yes always worth it. always worth it.