Grow (W)here You Are Planted

 Has this always been a cafe? I can see the memory of robes strolling past, people in deep conversations enjoying the sunshine and preparing for their day. Image by  David Mark  from  Pixabay The giant columns somehow make me feel at home.  I watch some teenagers laughing near the doorway to the shop across the street. Moments where I am seen and unseen help me relax into my first solo trip to Rome. I sit here and the warm breeze clashes with my tea and I wish I had ordered something cool to drink. No matter, I'm in the shade and will be for a while.  I'll just lean back and people-watch.  God, this language is beautiful!! How have I not started lessons yet! I am here and can totally see myself not going home.  This is home now. Image by  Manuel Reina  from  Pixabay   I have to force myself not to get lost in imagining my life in some fabulous little villa in the rolling hills nearby.  From one of the bedroom windows, I can see this cafe in the distance.  I could plan my visits

 There's something that happens late in the day. Around 4 or 5 o'clock, I become very relaxed and life seems full of promise.  Not to say that life is any less in the mornings, I'm just not aware of much in the mornings.  If I got out of bed, late sleeper, then I'm groggy or just 'in the soup' until the sun starts to consider going to bed. Anyway, 4 or 5 o'clock is when I start getting purposeful.  I look for work and apply and write and fill out all the things to be considered so that I can make money/create my freedom.  I start thinking about dinner and when I will begin to cook.  I smile at the thought of my evening walk with Lola who has, by now, had her meal of the day and has napped sufficiently at my feet and will soon stand up, sniff around the room and then softly place her head next to my leg as it dangles from the side of the bed.  I'd say she's my slice but she's the whole pie.      Dinner tonite is Manwich.  I'm also making banan

Image by  Norbert Pietsch  from  Pixabay I am living. I walk around and do things. I sit and relax, maybe watch t.v. or tickle my Lola. During any and all of these moments, thoughts travel in the universe that is my mind and they grow wings...or wheels It's so easy for me to get lost in thought that I forget to share.  I forget that I should be sitting in front of a screen with a keyboard.  I should be spewing the things that are happening in my head. I swear so many of these thoughts just happen. and I get to spend time wandering and flowing the path that they create. I always see thoughts and ideas as energy speeding right past just above our heads...the creative ones are just the ones that decided to grab one or two or... Some thoughts have created indentations on the path like an old rickety horse drawn cart slowly making its way through a town,  patiently on its way home. Other thoughts are new and, while I'm in them, I can look around and see colors and shapes. Sometimes,

purchased from  https://weposters.com/ When I find something that speaks to me, the feeling is overwhelming.  There is no question that THIS is good, meaningful and on my path. It's like I'm walking on a beautiful, green path on a bright, colorful day and suddenly, when I look down to my feet, I stop.  I pick up the most beautiful, shining orb and it is shooting warm light out of itself and right at me. And it feels good. It'll look good on the wall too... The work I've been doing on the inside is showing as a particular style and color scheme that is reminiscent of my childhood home and life but also with a twist.  Browns, blues and all the bohemian combos thereof as well as the occasional gold and hot-ass pink with lots and lots of plants... from Architectural Digest hmmm...Look at this room!!! I"m in love and in understanding...soon, when I've finally finished unpacking the last couple of boxes, I'll post some photos of my apartment...I love it. Things a

photo credit : Rebecca Scott John and Linda were kind and strong, full of love and easy to laughter, powerful beyond universe, unflinching and to the point. They moved forward with an ease that I am still learning to settle into it started early my worry about money the 4 of us, mom dad bro and me would do everything together it rocked when we’d drive home from school or to the store or to/from anywhere my parents would talk about money how to make what we had work what needs took precedence being the oldest and a Capricorn I would make sure to be quiet so they could have the space to figure things out and in that quiet, I’d listen I have never developed a positive process with money I often buy more than I need just in case i run out of money  I’ve aways been a spender as soon as I have some extra I proceed to shop for all the things I couldn’t buy before the influx This is, insanely, the first time I’ve had this realization...I’

Rebecca Scott it’s  been years... years of figuring out who to be, where to be, why to be. fluttering moments of bookended with such trying. I can only hope it was for a reason. it was. I had to get here somehow and  I could only walk this path. Here. Am I here? do I exist or am I just dreaming so? what happens to me when the dreamer awakes? is she already and just a little sleepy still? —sometimes when I wake in the morning when I just gaze at the back-lit curtain, letting thoughts become what they wish, I smile. This one is really interesting and wild.    I must remember what I felt during this other bit and grow it patiently in the real.    It’s like finding puzzle pieces in the dark and then finding where they fit.

Rebecca Scott In the second act the hero is placed into a situation that is unsolvable. she is put in jeopardy. you, the reader, don't know how it's going to turn out. Guess what? the hero is aware of where she has been placed. She also has no idea how this is going to turn out. she only knows she must take each step, be aware of the now and choose a direction. each step is hers to take and she will do so with whatever feeling she must to make it so. She is, after all, the hero of this story. And I know who I am. 

at some point you have to make a choice you have to decide who you are and what you want this is that point Can we say "Geez!!"? I keep aiming and re-aiming myself at words, freelancing, blogging, Medium, notepad, Ecojot notebook I try to remember a couple of things while I feel like I'm floating in a beautiful sea no land in sight in any direction I turn, I know its out there... 1. My mom would often remind me that everything I want is just around the corner the trick is to be patient considering you can never actually know where that corner is to be found. 2. I remind myself that thoughts create reality so, when I find my thoughts spiraling down a drain of darkness and fear, I reign that shit in, go outside and look up at the sky and the trees and breathe deep and slow. 'Let the thoughts exist and go, only lightly focus on the ones that lead you in the direction of the life that is yours, the life that you want.' This moment in my

The squirrels in the trees in my backyard like to drop down to different branches.  I thought about this for a while today while I watched them and I realized they drop, not because it is easy, but because they will go any direction to get onto the better branch.  The stronger branch. The branch with more food on it. I've been thinking that I failed.  I moved up the ladder and failed.  Then I fell off of the ladder. Turns out, I just needed to get onto a better branch.  I needed to get onto MY ladder because there are so many ladders it looks like that scene in The Imaginarium of Dr Parnassus.  There's an open field and there's a slew of ladders standing up all over the field.  We all get to choose which one we're going to climb.  What no one tells you is you can climb one, change your mind or fall off, and choose another one.  Any ladder that exists is yours for the climbing.  I'll tell you something else, though its a theory as of this moment, you can make your