Grow (W)here You Are Planted

 Has this always been a cafe? I can see the memory of robes strolling past, people in deep conversations enjoying the sunshine and preparing for their day. Image by  David Mark  from  Pixabay The giant columns somehow make me feel at home.  I watch some teenagers laughing near the doorway to the shop across the street. Moments where I am seen and unseen help me relax into my first solo trip to Rome. I sit here and the warm breeze clashes with my tea and I wish I had ordered something cool to drink. No matter, I'm in the shade and will be for a while.  I'll just lean back and people-watch.  God, this language is beautiful!! How have I not started lessons yet! I am here and can totally see myself not going home.  This is home now. Image by  Manuel Reina  from  Pixabay   I have to force myself not to get lost in imagining my life in some fabulous little villa in the rolling hills nearby.  From one of the bedroom windows, I can see this cafe in the distance.  I could plan my visits

 There's something that happens late in the day. Around 4 or 5 o'clock, I become very relaxed and life seems full of promise.  Not to say that life is any less in the mornings, I'm just not aware of much in the mornings.  If I got out of bed, late sleeper, then I'm groggy or just 'in the soup' until the sun starts to consider going to bed. Anyway, 4 or 5 o'clock is when I start getting purposeful.  I look for work and apply and write and fill out all the things to be considered so that I can make money/create my freedom.  I start thinking about dinner and when I will begin to cook.  I smile at the thought of my evening walk with Lola who has, by now, had her meal of the day and has napped sufficiently at my feet and will soon stand up, sniff around the room and then softly place her head next to my leg as it dangles from the side of the bed.  I'd say she's my slice but she's the whole pie.      Dinner tonite is Manwich.  I'm also making banan

 That was intense.  The thing is, this is my life.  My mind runs miles over all of the things I need to do, all of the things I want to do and how to find myself in the middle of accomplishing all of it.  The I realize I can't do all of it alone and I start to hyperventilate and my heart speeds up and I feel pressure build up in my entire body.   Then I take a deep breath...and another...and one more... Then I blink and look at something I enjoy or at someone I love and I count my blessings...literally. BLESSINGS: 1. Health - my own and that of those I love and those they love and even the folks I encounter in my daily travels especially the ones who look like they could use a little support 2. Love - I have so much love in my life from family, friends, the ground beneath my feet and the water lapping there as well.   And my Lola.  She is the best girl and knows just when I need a little extra support.

 I'm watching a video. In the video, a very white man just told me that the brain is "an electronic switching station that alters the vibration you're in". I smiled and this is what my brain did: This very white man just brought up vibration as a state of being.  He also implied, correctly, that vibration changes.  I now truly believe that everything in this life is vibration.  We are vibrating, all of us at different levels.  Inanimate objects are vibrating at lower levels.  In fact, the lower the level, the more solid it appears. Immediately after, I thought to myself: Why do I NOW believe this all to be so very true? Is it because a very white man has uttered the same information I have known almost my entire life? Do I not believe myself? Do I not believe every other non-white person who has uttered these same words? Has it been so ingrained in my DNA that the white man is the one who is right? ugh The beauty of this moment is that I know the questioning is the be

I have a thing for rain.  It helps me sleep and breathe and well, to live, really.  Georgia was good for rain.  There was always the possibility of rain and it was always well advertised.  Mother Nature would spend long hours teasing darkening clouds and light winds turning into gusts of cleansing air.   Maybe I'm romanticizing my 20+ years there...Maybe not. At any rate, Florida is dry.  The time when things are meant to be growing and green and fecund, Spring, ends all too quickly and we are left with the driest air which, coupled with the hard water in the shower, means I am FOREVER oiling and lotioning my entire body.  There are worst things, I know. I decided to make rain for myself while I wait for the daily afternoon showers I know will come soon. Enjoy...

  what if the universe is echoes of each of us expanding outward? what if, every time we grow a new wrinkle in our brain, a new accumulation of gas and dust collapses into a star? Image by  Arek Socha  from  Pixabay if I take the time, each day, to pointedly think about the past traumas that I know have been experienced by members of my family, by ancestors long gone now in physical form but strongly present in the shape of my nose and my hands or the last names I carry with me...If I knowingly walk right through the intensity of these daily realizations, am I able to heat up a nebula or 500?? I remember the first time I heard about the Butterfly Effect. It holds that a butterfly flapping its wings in exactly the right place at exactly the right moment, it has the power to cause a hurricane elsewhere. Such beautiful chaos emanates from the strength of my thoughts. I am often surprised to find myself in the exact place I imagined myself to be, performing the exact task I pictured and

  She opened her eyes and let the sunshine envelop her.  Weekends were always the best.  Dad was outside mowing the lawn and the rooster next door apparently had no inner clock.  She rolled over and felt the crisp sheets on her skin and smiled.   Dressed and ready to play, down the stairs she went to brush her teeth in the parents' bathroom to be followed by breakfast.  Johnny was already outside running around the backyard, being chased by the dogs, giant smile on his little kid face.  When he was happy all you could really see was his teeth.  They were big for his face though he would grow into them later in life and he would always need braces though he would never get them. Becky crunched cornflakes and watched as mom appeared and reappeared through the doorways in her view as she cleaned the house and brought it back to its best state = organization.  From the kitchen she told me to get outside and to remember to take some water with me and a lemonade for my dad.  He would be

 It just hit me I just read about something new coming in 2021 and at first, I felt like I always do when I read that phrase 'coming in 2021'.  That's SO far away.   But, today it hit me,  2021 starts in less than 50 days. All this time, this whole year, I think I've been waiting for 2020 to start.  The pandemic, the stress of lockdown, losing family to Covid, dealing with job loss and being unable to live the way I am used to makes me feel like I've been put on hold.  The year never really got started for me and, I fear, you either. So, what to do about it? well, all there is to do is keep moving forward.  I wake each day thankful for the sun or the rain or the wind as it expresses itself outside my window.  I am thankful for my Lola and my family and everyone I love and those they love and on and on.  I start my days with a long list of items I must accomplish as I create the life I've always dreamed of and rest my head on my pillow at night ready to get at th

Image by  Norbert Pietsch  from  Pixabay I am living. I walk around and do things. I sit and relax, maybe watch t.v. or tickle my Lola. During any and all of these moments, thoughts travel in the universe that is my mind and they grow wings...or wheels It's so easy for me to get lost in thought that I forget to share.  I forget that I should be sitting in front of a screen with a keyboard.  I should be spewing the things that are happening in my head. I swear so many of these thoughts just happen. and I get to spend time wandering and flowing the path that they create. I always see thoughts and ideas as energy speeding right past just above our heads...the creative ones are just the ones that decided to grab one or two or... Some thoughts have created indentations on the path like an old rickety horse drawn cart slowly making its way through a town,  patiently on its way home. Other thoughts are new and, while I'm in them, I can look around and see colors and shapes. Sometimes,

purchased from  https://weposters.com/ When I find something that speaks to me, the feeling is overwhelming.  There is no question that THIS is good, meaningful and on my path. It's like I'm walking on a beautiful, green path on a bright, colorful day and suddenly, when I look down to my feet, I stop.  I pick up the most beautiful, shining orb and it is shooting warm light out of itself and right at me. And it feels good. It'll look good on the wall too... The work I've been doing on the inside is showing as a particular style and color scheme that is reminiscent of my childhood home and life but also with a twist.  Browns, blues and all the bohemian combos thereof as well as the occasional gold and hot-ass pink with lots and lots of plants... from Architectural Digest hmmm...Look at this room!!! I"m in love and in understanding...soon, when I've finally finished unpacking the last couple of boxes, I'll post some photos of my apartment...I love it. Things a

photo credit : Rebecca Scott John and Linda were kind and strong, full of love and easy to laughter, powerful beyond universe, unflinching and to the point. They moved forward with an ease that I am still learning to settle into it started early my worry about money the 4 of us, mom dad bro and me would do everything together it rocked when we’d drive home from school or to the store or to/from anywhere my parents would talk about money how to make what we had work what needs took precedence being the oldest and a Capricorn I would make sure to be quiet so they could have the space to figure things out and in that quiet, I’d listen I have never developed a positive process with money I often buy more than I need just in case i run out of money  I’ve aways been a spender as soon as I have some extra I proceed to shop for all the things I couldn’t buy before the influx This is, insanely, the first time I’ve had this realization...I’

Rebecca Scott it’s  been years... years of figuring out who to be, where to be, why to be. fluttering moments of bookended with such trying. I can only hope it was for a reason. it was. I had to get here somehow and  I could only walk this path. Here. Am I here? do I exist or am I just dreaming so? what happens to me when the dreamer awakes? is she already and just a little sleepy still? —sometimes when I wake in the morning when I just gaze at the back-lit curtain, letting thoughts become what they wish, I smile. This one is really interesting and wild.    I must remember what I felt during this other bit and grow it patiently in the real.    It’s like finding puzzle pieces in the dark and then finding where they fit.

Rebecca Scott In the second act the hero is placed into a situation that is unsolvable. she is put in jeopardy. you, the reader, don't know how it's going to turn out. Guess what? the hero is aware of where she has been placed. She also has no idea how this is going to turn out. she only knows she must take each step, be aware of the now and choose a direction. each step is hers to take and she will do so with whatever feeling she must to make it so. She is, after all, the hero of this story. And I know who I am. 

HOLYYYY SHIT! I've got a lot of irons in the fire. I'm setting up a photography website that promises to be a work in progress.  First, I will showcase my photo re-touching capabilities so I can sell them and, over time and Universe willing, it will grow to a photography website that will have photo shoots, re-touching and prints for sale.  No big deal.  I'm just over here completely re-vamping my life and all aspects of it.  Not people though...well, not letting go of people.  I am open, as always, to new people entering my life and making it even more beautiful. FLORIDA PERK!!!:Afternoons in downtown St. Pete

I learned about beauty from my mother. Every morning, Mom would brush my hair.  It was always a to do because my brother and I were not ‘wake up early’ people then.  I’m still not.  I used to think that when she touched me, even my hair, she could hear my thoughts like I was speaking them out loud.  There were a few mornings I found myself forcing positive thoughts about her in my head so she wouldn’t know I was still mad about having to clean my room the day before.  The rule was that no matter what, hair had to look good for school. I was 12 or 13 the first time I ‘got ready’ for a real party, with boys and hormones, and I remember she helped me put on some makeup and perfume.  I had gotten my period recently and I think she had decided it was time to see what I thought about the next level of womanhood.  It was the first time I saw myself as pretty.  I wore a red pencil skirt and an oversized white button down shirt.  It was the 80’s.  There were a few more parties she helped