Grow (W)here You Are Planted

On this full moon I let go of fear fear of not being enough fear of being too much fear of having too much fear of not having enough I let go of pain and I let go of love. I let go of everything that is and everything I want to be. All of these feelings and more are now free to travel into me and through me find a space within where they can teach and stay or go as needed. I've noticed full moon nights are always windy nights something is always coming something else is always going I stood outside tonight and spoke magic into the wind I took a deep breath and tears of joy filled my eyes and then the wind stopped.

They say 'write the thing that scares you'.  What happens when so many things scare you that you can't choose?  Oh, there it is.  The thing that scares me the most is admitting I'm afraid. I'm afraid of all the things.  I am enough, I'm not enough, I'm going to be successful, I'm not...I will find my love, I won't...I can make and live the life I want, I can't...What the hell am I supposed to do with that? My higher brain knows all the right bits.  It knows I will succeed, it knows I am enough and it knows this is all I need to know to create my life.  But my core is tight.  Not from sit-ups or toes to bar but because that is the place where I keep my fear.  It's constantly reminding myself that I have to look outside sometimes.  I have to go for a hike or a beach day and let myself realize my strength.  I have to remember that I am but a speck in this infinite universe, on this spinning ball, hurtling through space in close proximity,

The squirrels in the trees in my backyard like to drop down to different branches.  I thought about this for a while today while I watched them and I realized they drop, not because it is easy, but because they will go any direction to get onto the better branch.  The stronger branch. The branch with more food on it. I've been thinking that I failed.  I moved up the ladder and failed.  Then I fell off of the ladder. Turns out, I just needed to get onto a better branch.  I needed to get onto MY ladder because there are so many ladders it looks like that scene in The Imaginarium of Dr Parnassus.  There's an open field and there's a slew of ladders standing up all over the field.  We all get to choose which one we're going to climb.  What no one tells you is you can climb one, change your mind or fall off, and choose another one.  Any ladder that exists is yours for the climbing.  I'll tell you something else, though its a theory as of this moment, you can make your