Grow (W)here You Are Planted

 There's something that happens late in the day. Around 4 or 5 o'clock, I become very relaxed and life seems full of promise.  Not to say that life is any less in the mornings, I'm just not aware of much in the mornings.  If I got out of bed, late sleeper, then I'm groggy or just 'in the soup' until the sun starts to consider going to bed. Anyway, 4 or 5 o'clock is when I start getting purposeful.  I look for work and apply and write and fill out all the things to be considered so that I can make money/create my freedom.  I start thinking about dinner and when I will begin to cook.  I smile at the thought of my evening walk with Lola who has, by now, had her meal of the day and has napped sufficiently at my feet and will soon stand up, sniff around the room and then softly place her head next to my leg as it dangles from the side of the bed.  I'd say she's my slice but she's the whole pie.      Dinner tonite is Manwich.  I'm also making banan

 That was intense.  The thing is, this is my life.  My mind runs miles over all of the things I need to do, all of the things I want to do and how to find myself in the middle of accomplishing all of it.  The I realize I can't do all of it alone and I start to hyperventilate and my heart speeds up and I feel pressure build up in my entire body.   Then I take a deep breath...and another...and one more... Then I blink and look at something I enjoy or at someone I love and I count my blessings...literally. BLESSINGS: 1. Health - my own and that of those I love and those they love and even the folks I encounter in my daily travels especially the ones who look like they could use a little support 2. Love - I have so much love in my life from family, friends, the ground beneath my feet and the water lapping there as well.   And my Lola.  She is the best girl and knows just when I need a little extra support.

 I'm watching a video. In the video, a very white man just told me that the brain is "an electronic switching station that alters the vibration you're in". I smiled and this is what my brain did: This very white man just brought up vibration as a state of being.  He also implied, correctly, that vibration changes.  I now truly believe that everything in this life is vibration.  We are vibrating, all of us at different levels.  Inanimate objects are vibrating at lower levels.  In fact, the lower the level, the more solid it appears. Immediately after, I thought to myself: Why do I NOW believe this all to be so very true? Is it because a very white man has uttered the same information I have known almost my entire life? Do I not believe myself? Do I not believe every other non-white person who has uttered these same words? Has it been so ingrained in my DNA that the white man is the one who is right? ugh The beauty of this moment is that I know the questioning is the be

I have a thing for rain.  It helps me sleep and breathe and well, to live, really.  Georgia was good for rain.  There was always the possibility of rain and it was always well advertised.  Mother Nature would spend long hours teasing darkening clouds and light winds turning into gusts of cleansing air.   Maybe I'm romanticizing my 20+ years there...Maybe not. At any rate, Florida is dry.  The time when things are meant to be growing and green and fecund, Spring, ends all too quickly and we are left with the driest air which, coupled with the hard water in the shower, means I am FOREVER oiling and lotioning my entire body.  There are worst things, I know. I decided to make rain for myself while I wait for the daily afternoon showers I know will come soon. Enjoy...

  what if the universe is echoes of each of us expanding outward? what if, every time we grow a new wrinkle in our brain, a new accumulation of gas and dust collapses into a star? Image by  Arek Socha  from  Pixabay if I take the time, each day, to pointedly think about the past traumas that I know have been experienced by members of my family, by ancestors long gone now in physical form but strongly present in the shape of my nose and my hands or the last names I carry with me...If I knowingly walk right through the intensity of these daily realizations, am I able to heat up a nebula or 500?? I remember the first time I heard about the Butterfly Effect. It holds that a butterfly flapping its wings in exactly the right place at exactly the right moment, it has the power to cause a hurricane elsewhere. Such beautiful chaos emanates from the strength of my thoughts. I am often surprised to find myself in the exact place I imagined myself to be, performing the exact task I pictured and

  She opened her eyes and let the sunshine envelop her.  Weekends were always the best.  Dad was outside mowing the lawn and the rooster next door apparently had no inner clock.  She rolled over and felt the crisp sheets on her skin and smiled.   Dressed and ready to play, down the stairs she went to brush her teeth in the parents' bathroom to be followed by breakfast.  Johnny was already outside running around the backyard, being chased by the dogs, giant smile on his little kid face.  When he was happy all you could really see was his teeth.  They were big for his face though he would grow into them later in life and he would always need braces though he would never get them. Becky crunched cornflakes and watched as mom appeared and reappeared through the doorways in her view as she cleaned the house and brought it back to its best state = organization.  From the kitchen she told me to get outside and to remember to take some water with me and a lemonade for my dad.  He would be

 It just hit me I just read about something new coming in 2021 and at first, I felt like I always do when I read that phrase 'coming in 2021'.  That's SO far away.   But, today it hit me,  2021 starts in less than 50 days. All this time, this whole year, I think I've been waiting for 2020 to start.  The pandemic, the stress of lockdown, losing family to Covid, dealing with job loss and being unable to live the way I am used to makes me feel like I've been put on hold.  The year never really got started for me and, I fear, you either. So, what to do about it? well, all there is to do is keep moving forward.  I wake each day thankful for the sun or the rain or the wind as it expresses itself outside my window.  I am thankful for my Lola and my family and everyone I love and those they love and on and on.  I start my days with a long list of items I must accomplish as I create the life I've always dreamed of and rest my head on my pillow at night ready to get at th

River Ridge, Georgia, 2011, Rebecca Scott               You know those lovely Sunday afternoons, where you finally relax enough to just be? You're home alone or at your best friend's house just aiming your eyes at the TV. The sound is down because you're both tired and want to enjoy the sound of the rain outside. You let yourself go in and out of consciousness, napping most of the day. Then you hear the rain slow to a constant, slow drip just outside the open window. I call that a gray day. It might actually be gray with clouds and fo g or it might even be sunny and so hot nothing seems to move. Those days are life for me. They mean I have finally reached a moment where I can breathe. All my muscles are unwound and my breathing is slow and deep. Occasionally one corner of my mouth turns up...all by itself, as my mind wanders into and out of memories. When I moved to Florida, I worried I wouldn't get perfect gray days anymore. For over 20 years, Georgia pro

Rebecca Scott it’s  been years... years of figuring out who to be, where to be, why to be. fluttering moments of bookended with such trying. I can only hope it was for a reason. it was. I had to get here somehow and  I could only walk this path. Here. Am I here? do I exist or am I just dreaming so? what happens to me when the dreamer awakes? is she already and just a little sleepy still? —sometimes when I wake in the morning when I just gaze at the back-lit curtain, letting thoughts become what they wish, I smile. This one is really interesting and wild.    I must remember what I felt during this other bit and grow it patiently in the real.    It’s like finding puzzle pieces in the dark and then finding where they fit.

Rebecca Scott In the second act the hero is placed into a situation that is unsolvable. she is put in jeopardy. you, the reader, don't know how it's going to turn out. Guess what? the hero is aware of where she has been placed. She also has no idea how this is going to turn out. she only knows she must take each step, be aware of the now and choose a direction. each step is hers to take and she will do so with whatever feeling she must to make it so. She is, after all, the hero of this story. And I know who I am. 

Something happened and I changed. Maybe it was years of loneliness covered in the love of my friends and family Maybe it was the car accident that took them from us Maybe it was getting fired from a company I chose to give 16 years of my life to Maybe it was months of sending my resume out and receiving rejection after rejection all the while running out of money, focusing too hard on all the things I cannot change. My life is good but there are in between moments of not good so much stress I think about becoming a cliche How is it I did everything 'right' and still find myself here? first, there is no 'right'. There is only a choice to be made, right or wrong. There's even a choice to choose. The thing to understand...and then remember when all seems lost is that this is MY life.  EVERY choice I make is mine to make and mine to live and each one is exactly the choice I must make  every moment of every day though my mind seems lost right now and

HOLYYYY SHIT! I've got a lot of irons in the fire. I'm setting up a photography website that promises to be a work in progress.  First, I will showcase my photo re-touching capabilities so I can sell them and, over time and Universe willing, it will grow to a photography website that will have photo shoots, re-touching and prints for sale.  No big deal.  I'm just over here completely re-vamping my life and all aspects of it.  Not people though...well, not letting go of people.  I am open, as always, to new people entering my life and making it even more beautiful. FLORIDA PERK!!!:Afternoons in downtown St. Pete

Bhupendra Singh there are no levels words are spells that shape my reality I had to break myself I had to know I could break and rebuild life is leading me thru treasures inimitable in their magnitude and feeling open a window  look out the door up at the trees breathe I am the result of love between thousands  how beautiful and calming and inspiring generations of couples met fell in love brought life to the light lived  loved and died and I am here

I went home for a few days nothing clears the mind like laughter and the beach My brother often repeats words I've just said or phrases I've just uttered somehow hearing them outside of myself clarifies how funny I am The beach was windy to the point that it was almost too cold to sit in the sun and oh that sun...it was bright and lovely but the cold made it so I did not notice my skin burning now my shoulders and arms are itchy and red still red, 3 days later. It was worth it. Salt water and sand children running around free and shrieking with joy is always worth it. the renewal I feel after one visit after the walk from the car through white sands to that perfect spot the sitting, glancing around maybe reading something not expected to be inspiring but always is a visit to the water maybe a float through the sparkles then the walk back to the car hell yes always worth it. always worth it.