Grow (W)here You Are Planted

River Ridge, Georgia, 2011, Rebecca Scott               You know those lovely Sunday afternoons, where you finally relax enough to just be? You're home alone or at your best friend's house just aiming your eyes at the TV. The sound is down because you're both tired and want to enjoy the sound of the rain outside. You let yourself go in and out of consciousness, napping most of the day. Then you hear the rain slow to a constant, slow drip just outside the open window. I call that a gray day. It might actually be gray with clouds and fo g or it might even be sunny and so hot nothing seems to move. Those days are life for me. They mean I have finally reached a moment where I can breathe. All my muscles are unwound and my breathing is slow and deep. Occasionally one corner of my mouth turns up...all by itself, as my mind wanders into and out of memories. When I moved to Florida, I worried I wouldn't get perfect gray days anymore. For over 20 years, Georgia pro

Rebecca Scott it’s  been years... years of figuring out who to be, where to be, why to be. fluttering moments of bookended with such trying. I can only hope it was for a reason. it was. I had to get here somehow and  I could only walk this path. Here. Am I here? do I exist or am I just dreaming so? what happens to me when the dreamer awakes? is she already and just a little sleepy still? —sometimes when I wake in the morning when I just gaze at the back-lit curtain, letting thoughts become what they wish, I smile. This one is really interesting and wild.    I must remember what I felt during this other bit and grow it patiently in the real.    It’s like finding puzzle pieces in the dark and then finding where they fit.

it hurts changing your life   breathing through  seeming darkness  opening your eyes and seeing sparks of purple and green wondering ‘where the hell did this shit come from?’ but it’s worth it  I have to believe that.  this one feels bigger because it leads to bigger, it leads to more, it leads to everything Plantation Lake - Rebecca Scott

When I look at her I see every age she's been. I cycle back through the years and the days, the moments. Sometimes I look around and I can see them smiling at her, being proud of her. I can feel the breeze coming off the ocean on a sunny day. She's 19 now and she's strong and she's sarcastic she's funny and she cares. She doesn't try to try is to believe you will fail. She does it. She dives in and does the thing and she doesn't need your input. She may ask your thoughts, from time to time, mostly to check herself but also to check you. don't get left or she'll fly by and get them ankles. 1/14/2008

HOLYYYY SHIT! I've got a lot of irons in the fire. I'm setting up a photography website that promises to be a work in progress.  First, I will showcase my photo re-touching capabilities so I can sell them and, over time and Universe willing, it will grow to a photography website that will have photo shoots, re-touching and prints for sale.  No big deal.  I'm just over here completely re-vamping my life and all aspects of it.  Not people though...well, not letting go of people.  I am open, as always, to new people entering my life and making it even more beautiful. FLORIDA PERK!!!:Afternoons in downtown St. Pete

They say 'write the thing that scares you'.  What happens when so many things scare you that you can't choose?  Oh, there it is.  The thing that scares me the most is admitting I'm afraid. I'm afraid of all the things.  I am enough, I'm not enough, I'm going to be successful, I'm not...I will find my love, I won't...I can make and live the life I want, I can't...What the hell am I supposed to do with that? My higher brain knows all the right bits.  It knows I will succeed, it knows I am enough and it knows this is all I need to know to create my life.  But my core is tight.  Not from sit-ups or toes to bar but because that is the place where I keep my fear.  It's constantly reminding myself that I have to look outside sometimes.  I have to go for a hike or a beach day and let myself realize my strength.  I have to remember that I am but a speck in this infinite universe, on this spinning ball, hurtling through space in close proximity,