Grow (W)here You Are Planted

 I started affiliate marketing just a little while ago.  It's been a trip so far getting into all the different programs and learning how my piece of the process works.  I am, more often than not, someone who learns by doing.  The only issue there is that I've been a perfectionist most of my life.  This has proven to be paralyzing since all it does is stop me from doing something until I deem it as close to perfect as possible.  My 40's have been all about getting over that mess. Image by  Marcelo Kato  from  Pixabay   So I 'do' and when I know better, I 'do' better.  In the interest of helping myself learn, I have found a few books that have really helped me to hone in on the affiliate marketing process, use others' knowledge to organize myself, and have given me a looooong list of things to think about and work toward. Image by  yogesh more  from  Pixabay   A note, as an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases. Here they are: I truly hope yo

  I'm going to guess there's a way to make this work. This life of mine can't just be 'work all day, eat, sleep a bit, and do it all again the next day'. I did that for 16 years and have literally nothing to show for it.  Well, that's not true.  I have friendships and I have knowledge.  I learned how to think during that time.  Some of it not so useful and really quite depressing and in need of therapy.  Most of it though...It has allowed me to be present in these clouds of uncertainty in a way I never would have been able to be before. What do I do with this presence? I work on various projects every day.  None of them are paying me at all though.  Here's the stuff, maybe you'll check it out? make a purchase? 1.  My YouTube channel, where I have started posting relaxation/meditation videos which I personally use for sleep: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCVMT2BUP_C0fUdBxckvXvbg 2.  I have two Etsy stores but only one is open right now for lack of fundi

 That was intense.  The thing is, this is my life.  My mind runs miles over all of the things I need to do, all of the things I want to do and how to find myself in the middle of accomplishing all of it.  The I realize I can't do all of it alone and I start to hyperventilate and my heart speeds up and I feel pressure build up in my entire body.   Then I take a deep breath...and another...and one more... Then I blink and look at something I enjoy or at someone I love and I count my blessings...literally. BLESSINGS: 1. Health - my own and that of those I love and those they love and even the folks I encounter in my daily travels especially the ones who look like they could use a little support 2. Love - I have so much love in my life from family, friends, the ground beneath my feet and the water lapping there as well.   And my Lola.  She is the best girl and knows just when I need a little extra support.

 I'm watching a video. In the video, a very white man just told me that the brain is "an electronic switching station that alters the vibration you're in". I smiled and this is what my brain did: This very white man just brought up vibration as a state of being.  He also implied, correctly, that vibration changes.  I now truly believe that everything in this life is vibration.  We are vibrating, all of us at different levels.  Inanimate objects are vibrating at lower levels.  In fact, the lower the level, the more solid it appears. Immediately after, I thought to myself: Why do I NOW believe this all to be so very true? Is it because a very white man has uttered the same information I have known almost my entire life? Do I not believe myself? Do I not believe every other non-white person who has uttered these same words? Has it been so ingrained in my DNA that the white man is the one who is right? ugh The beauty of this moment is that I know the questioning is the be

I have a thing for rain.  It helps me sleep and breathe and well, to live, really.  Georgia was good for rain.  There was always the possibility of rain and it was always well advertised.  Mother Nature would spend long hours teasing darkening clouds and light winds turning into gusts of cleansing air.   Maybe I'm romanticizing my 20+ years there...Maybe not. At any rate, Florida is dry.  The time when things are meant to be growing and green and fecund, Spring, ends all too quickly and we are left with the driest air which, coupled with the hard water in the shower, means I am FOREVER oiling and lotioning my entire body.  There are worst things, I know. I decided to make rain for myself while I wait for the daily afternoon showers I know will come soon. Enjoy...

  what if the universe is echoes of each of us expanding outward? what if, every time we grow a new wrinkle in our brain, a new accumulation of gas and dust collapses into a star? Image by  Arek Socha  from  Pixabay if I take the time, each day, to pointedly think about the past traumas that I know have been experienced by members of my family, by ancestors long gone now in physical form but strongly present in the shape of my nose and my hands or the last names I carry with me...If I knowingly walk right through the intensity of these daily realizations, am I able to heat up a nebula or 500?? I remember the first time I heard about the Butterfly Effect. It holds that a butterfly flapping its wings in exactly the right place at exactly the right moment, it has the power to cause a hurricane elsewhere. Such beautiful chaos emanates from the strength of my thoughts. I am often surprised to find myself in the exact place I imagined myself to be, performing the exact task I pictured and

  She opened her eyes and let the sunshine envelop her.  Weekends were always the best.  Dad was outside mowing the lawn and the rooster next door apparently had no inner clock.  She rolled over and felt the crisp sheets on her skin and smiled.   Dressed and ready to play, down the stairs she went to brush her teeth in the parents' bathroom to be followed by breakfast.  Johnny was already outside running around the backyard, being chased by the dogs, giant smile on his little kid face.  When he was happy all you could really see was his teeth.  They were big for his face though he would grow into them later in life and he would always need braces though he would never get them. Becky crunched cornflakes and watched as mom appeared and reappeared through the doorways in her view as she cleaned the house and brought it back to its best state = organization.  From the kitchen she told me to get outside and to remember to take some water with me and a lemonade for my dad.  He would be

 It just hit me I just read about something new coming in 2021 and at first, I felt like I always do when I read that phrase 'coming in 2021'.  That's SO far away.   But, today it hit me,  2021 starts in less than 50 days. All this time, this whole year, I think I've been waiting for 2020 to start.  The pandemic, the stress of lockdown, losing family to Covid, dealing with job loss and being unable to live the way I am used to makes me feel like I've been put on hold.  The year never really got started for me and, I fear, you either. So, what to do about it? well, all there is to do is keep moving forward.  I wake each day thankful for the sun or the rain or the wind as it expresses itself outside my window.  I am thankful for my Lola and my family and everyone I love and those they love and on and on.  I start my days with a long list of items I must accomplish as I create the life I've always dreamed of and rest my head on my pillow at night ready to get at th

Image by  Norbert Pietsch  from  Pixabay I am living. I walk around and do things. I sit and relax, maybe watch t.v. or tickle my Lola. During any and all of these moments, thoughts travel in the universe that is my mind and they grow wings...or wheels It's so easy for me to get lost in thought that I forget to share.  I forget that I should be sitting in front of a screen with a keyboard.  I should be spewing the things that are happening in my head. I swear so many of these thoughts just happen. and I get to spend time wandering and flowing the path that they create. I always see thoughts and ideas as energy speeding right past just above our heads...the creative ones are just the ones that decided to grab one or two or... Some thoughts have created indentations on the path like an old rickety horse drawn cart slowly making its way through a town,  patiently on its way home. Other thoughts are new and, while I'm in them, I can look around and see colors and shapes. Sometimes,

Rebecca Scott it’s  been years... years of figuring out who to be, where to be, why to be. fluttering moments of bookended with such trying. I can only hope it was for a reason. it was. I had to get here somehow and  I could only walk this path. Here. Am I here? do I exist or am I just dreaming so? what happens to me when the dreamer awakes? is she already and just a little sleepy still? —sometimes when I wake in the morning when I just gaze at the back-lit curtain, letting thoughts become what they wish, I smile. This one is really interesting and wild.    I must remember what I felt during this other bit and grow it patiently in the real.    It’s like finding puzzle pieces in the dark and then finding where they fit.

Rebecca Scott In the second act the hero is placed into a situation that is unsolvable. she is put in jeopardy. you, the reader, don't know how it's going to turn out. Guess what? the hero is aware of where she has been placed. She also has no idea how this is going to turn out. she only knows she must take each step, be aware of the now and choose a direction. each step is hers to take and she will do so with whatever feeling she must to make it so. She is, after all, the hero of this story. And I know who I am. 

Something happened and I changed. Maybe it was years of loneliness covered in the love of my friends and family Maybe it was the car accident that took them from us Maybe it was getting fired from a company I chose to give 16 years of my life to Maybe it was months of sending my resume out and receiving rejection after rejection all the while running out of money, focusing too hard on all the things I cannot change. My life is good but there are in between moments of not good so much stress I think about becoming a cliche How is it I did everything 'right' and still find myself here? first, there is no 'right'. There is only a choice to be made, right or wrong. There's even a choice to choose. The thing to understand...and then remember when all seems lost is that this is MY life.  EVERY choice I make is mine to make and mine to live and each one is exactly the choice I must make  every moment of every day though my mind seems lost right now and

When I look at her I see every age she's been. I cycle back through the years and the days, the moments. Sometimes I look around and I can see them smiling at her, being proud of her. I can feel the breeze coming off the ocean on a sunny day. She's 19 now and she's strong and she's sarcastic she's funny and she cares. She doesn't try to try is to believe you will fail. She does it. She dives in and does the thing and she doesn't need your input. She may ask your thoughts, from time to time, mostly to check herself but also to check you. don't get left or she'll fly by and get them ankles. 1/14/2008

HOLYYYY SHIT! I've got a lot of irons in the fire. I'm setting up a photography website that promises to be a work in progress.  First, I will showcase my photo re-touching capabilities so I can sell them and, over time and Universe willing, it will grow to a photography website that will have photo shoots, re-touching and prints for sale.  No big deal.  I'm just over here completely re-vamping my life and all aspects of it.  Not people though...well, not letting go of people.  I am open, as always, to new people entering my life and making it even more beautiful. FLORIDA PERK!!!:Afternoons in downtown St. Pete

There's a bomb in my heart. I can see it in my mind's eye and it is bright, rolling, light screaming through movement. It's floating behind my ribs, spinning browns and whites and every color in between. It's growing every second and it makes me smile my back straight my eyes turn at the corners. Deep breath. There is wind and the sound of splashing waves. I am standing before myself and I am beautiful, taller and grander and stronger than I have ever imagined until now. Sand between my toes, hair blowing, darkness behind me, light before me a storm has come to my heart and it is everything I came to become. Photo : Pok Rie

The squirrels in the trees in my backyard like to drop down to different branches.  I thought about this for a while today while I watched them and I realized they drop, not because it is easy, but because they will go any direction to get onto the better branch.  The stronger branch. The branch with more food on it. I've been thinking that I failed.  I moved up the ladder and failed.  Then I fell off of the ladder. Turns out, I just needed to get onto a better branch.  I needed to get onto MY ladder because there are so many ladders it looks like that scene in The Imaginarium of Dr Parnassus.  There's an open field and there's a slew of ladders standing up all over the field.  We all get to choose which one we're going to climb.  What no one tells you is you can climb one, change your mind or fall off, and choose another one.  Any ladder that exists is yours for the climbing.  I'll tell you something else, though its a theory as of this moment, you can make your

mhmm I've been writing a lot.  I've been posting a lot.  I've added a link to my stories on Medium down below. I can't afford a therapist right now so, instead, I'm writing... everything that's on my mind.  Mostly working to find how my mind works and develop that into a path to writing a book.  I've toyed with some ideas...started some stories.  There's one about an octopus looking for her family that I thought could help to kids living in foster care.  There's another, grimier one, about a guy who's in love and decides to get his life in order so he can prove himself to the woman he loves.  Haven't found my story yet but on I search. Most of my writings feel like they might be dark or sad.  I think that's ok...gotta get it out somehow.  And anyway, I have a dark mind.  Things make me laugh that many find distasteful.  I"m ok with that because I am also full of love for all the bright things in the world and in people.