Grow (W)here You Are Planted

 I started affiliate marketing just a little while ago.  It's been a trip so far getting into all the different programs and learning how my piece of the process works.  I am, more often than not, someone who learns by doing.  The only issue there is that I've been a perfectionist most of my life.  This has proven to be paralyzing since all it does is stop me from doing something until I deem it as close to perfect as possible.  My 40's have been all about getting over that mess. Image by  Marcelo Kato  from  Pixabay   So I 'do' and when I know better, I 'do' better.  In the interest of helping myself learn, I have found a few books that have really helped me to hone in on the affiliate marketing process, use others' knowledge to organize myself, and have given me a looooong list of things to think about and work toward. Image by  yogesh more  from  Pixabay   A note, as an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases. Here they are: I truly hope yo

 Has this always been a cafe? I can see the memory of robes strolling past, people in deep conversations enjoying the sunshine and preparing for their day. Image by  David Mark  from  Pixabay The giant columns somehow make me feel at home.  I watch some teenagers laughing near the doorway to the shop across the street. Moments where I am seen and unseen help me relax into my first solo trip to Rome. I sit here and the warm breeze clashes with my tea and I wish I had ordered something cool to drink. No matter, I'm in the shade and will be for a while.  I'll just lean back and people-watch.  God, this language is beautiful!! How have I not started lessons yet! I am here and can totally see myself not going home.  This is home now. Image by  Manuel Reina  from  Pixabay   I have to force myself not to get lost in imagining my life in some fabulous little villa in the rolling hills nearby.  From one of the bedroom windows, I can see this cafe in the distance.  I could plan my visits

  I'm going to guess there's a way to make this work. This life of mine can't just be 'work all day, eat, sleep a bit, and do it all again the next day'. I did that for 16 years and have literally nothing to show for it.  Well, that's not true.  I have friendships and I have knowledge.  I learned how to think during that time.  Some of it not so useful and really quite depressing and in need of therapy.  Most of it though...It has allowed me to be present in these clouds of uncertainty in a way I never would have been able to be before. What do I do with this presence? I work on various projects every day.  None of them are paying me at all though.  Here's the stuff, maybe you'll check it out? make a purchase? 1.  My YouTube channel, where I have started posting relaxation/meditation videos which I personally use for sleep: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCVMT2BUP_C0fUdBxckvXvbg 2.  I have two Etsy stores but only one is open right now for lack of fundi

 That was intense.  The thing is, this is my life.  My mind runs miles over all of the things I need to do, all of the things I want to do and how to find myself in the middle of accomplishing all of it.  The I realize I can't do all of it alone and I start to hyperventilate and my heart speeds up and I feel pressure build up in my entire body.   Then I take a deep breath...and another...and one more... Then I blink and look at something I enjoy or at someone I love and I count my blessings...literally. BLESSINGS: 1. Health - my own and that of those I love and those they love and even the folks I encounter in my daily travels especially the ones who look like they could use a little support 2. Love - I have so much love in my life from family, friends, the ground beneath my feet and the water lapping there as well.   And my Lola.  She is the best girl and knows just when I need a little extra support.

  what if the universe is echoes of each of us expanding outward? what if, every time we grow a new wrinkle in our brain, a new accumulation of gas and dust collapses into a star? Image by  Arek Socha  from  Pixabay if I take the time, each day, to pointedly think about the past traumas that I know have been experienced by members of my family, by ancestors long gone now in physical form but strongly present in the shape of my nose and my hands or the last names I carry with me...If I knowingly walk right through the intensity of these daily realizations, am I able to heat up a nebula or 500?? I remember the first time I heard about the Butterfly Effect. It holds that a butterfly flapping its wings in exactly the right place at exactly the right moment, it has the power to cause a hurricane elsewhere. Such beautiful chaos emanates from the strength of my thoughts. I am often surprised to find myself in the exact place I imagined myself to be, performing the exact task I pictured and

 It just hit me I just read about something new coming in 2021 and at first, I felt like I always do when I read that phrase 'coming in 2021'.  That's SO far away.   But, today it hit me,  2021 starts in less than 50 days. All this time, this whole year, I think I've been waiting for 2020 to start.  The pandemic, the stress of lockdown, losing family to Covid, dealing with job loss and being unable to live the way I am used to makes me feel like I've been put on hold.  The year never really got started for me and, I fear, you either. So, what to do about it? well, all there is to do is keep moving forward.  I wake each day thankful for the sun or the rain or the wind as it expresses itself outside my window.  I am thankful for my Lola and my family and everyone I love and those they love and on and on.  I start my days with a long list of items I must accomplish as I create the life I've always dreamed of and rest my head on my pillow at night ready to get at th

it hurts changing your life   breathing through  seeming darkness  opening your eyes and seeing sparks of purple and green wondering ‘where the hell did this shit come from?’ but it’s worth it  I have to believe that.  this one feels bigger because it leads to bigger, it leads to more, it leads to everything Plantation Lake - Rebecca Scott

HOLYYYY SHIT! I've got a lot of irons in the fire. I'm setting up a photography website that promises to be a work in progress.  First, I will showcase my photo re-touching capabilities so I can sell them and, over time and Universe willing, it will grow to a photography website that will have photo shoots, re-touching and prints for sale.  No big deal.  I'm just over here completely re-vamping my life and all aspects of it.  Not people though...well, not letting go of people.  I am open, as always, to new people entering my life and making it even more beautiful. FLORIDA PERK!!!:Afternoons in downtown St. Pete

They say 'write the thing that scares you'.  What happens when so many things scare you that you can't choose?  Oh, there it is.  The thing that scares me the most is admitting I'm afraid. I'm afraid of all the things.  I am enough, I'm not enough, I'm going to be successful, I'm not...I will find my love, I won't...I can make and live the life I want, I can't...What the hell am I supposed to do with that? My higher brain knows all the right bits.  It knows I will succeed, it knows I am enough and it knows this is all I need to know to create my life.  But my core is tight.  Not from sit-ups or toes to bar but because that is the place where I keep my fear.  It's constantly reminding myself that I have to look outside sometimes.  I have to go for a hike or a beach day and let myself realize my strength.  I have to remember that I am but a speck in this infinite universe, on this spinning ball, hurtling through space in close proximity,