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Showing posts with the label vulnerable

Djo

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A Year Ago: 'I was not aware until recently.  I did not know this music existed and I am sad for the time I missed and simultaneously glad for being here now. I'm not going to provide details of this band.  If you are interested please go ahead and search for that information yourself.  If you care, it may bring a smile.   I love the music I have heard from this band so far. Literally, everything makes me smile and feel an uplifted kind f joy that I do not feel often with just music.  Normally there has to be some sort of memory already attached to a song but this album I've been listening to today is phenomenal.  'right out tha gate.' DECIDE. Such a great word.  Yes, there are innumerable possibilities in this world.  Possibilities of the life you could live, the path you could take to lead you, hopefully, to heights of success and happiness you can't even imagine.  But, the thing is, you have to decide.  You can't let yourself sit there and think so much. 
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Working Through It

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  I'm going to guess there's a way to make this work. This life of mine can't just be 'work all day, eat, sleep a bit, and do it all again the next day'. I did that for 16 years and have literally nothing to show for it.  Well, that's not true.  I have friendships and I have knowledge.  I learned how to think during that time.  Some of it not so useful and really quite depressing and in need of therapy.  Most of it though...It has allowed me to be present in these clouds of uncertainty in a way I never would have been able to be before. What do I do with this presence? I work on various projects every day.  None of them are paying me at all though.  Here's the stuff, maybe you'll check it out? make a purchase? 1.  My YouTube channel, where I have started posting relaxation/meditation videos which I personally use for sleep: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCVMT2BUP_C0fUdBxckvXvbg 2.  I have two Etsy stores but only one is open right now for lack of fundi
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What Is It?

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Something happened and I changed. Maybe it was years of loneliness covered in the love of my friends and family Maybe it was the car accident that took them from us Maybe it was getting fired from a company I chose to give 16 years of my life to Maybe it was months of sending my resume out and receiving rejection after rejection all the while running out of money, focusing too hard on all the things I cannot change. My life is good but there are in between moments of not good so much stress I think about becoming a cliche How is it I did everything 'right' and still find myself here? first, there is no 'right'. There is only a choice to be made, right or wrong. There's even a choice to choose. The thing to understand...and then remember when all seems lost is that this is MY life.  EVERY choice I make is mine to make and mine to live and each one is exactly the choice I must make  every moment of every day though my mind seems lost right now and
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Doing

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by Tookapic there are no answers there is only doing we get so stressed looking for answers  because we think  that the look  on some people’s faces  means they figured it out they have found the way to make sense of this life how to move forward in the midst of crippling fear or grief who to turn to when you feel completely alone how to make a change when it feels like you’re stuck neck deep in cold, wet mud how to let yourself be vulnerable when you’ve built a wall to keep even yourself out but that look is the look  of one who is busy finding themselves in the doing looking up at the sky rain or shine every day with calm gratitude 
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